Wednesday, 29 June 2016

The World's Biggest Deff Dread - Scale Comparison

I've posted about my Deff Dread before, but with just pictures of the beast itself it seemed to be lacking perspective. I had the camera out the other day and thought it would be quite amusing to take some pictures with other units for scale.

As you can see a standard Dreadnought makes it about half way up his mighty thigh, while even the proud Contemptor is only waist high - with the full model being about 3 times it's height. I'm using a Chaos Chosen and an old Escher ganger to show human and marine scales next to it too. All in all it makes for a hell of a centrepiece for the army (well until I finish that colossal Battle-Wagon that is...)

Hmmmm .... and now to paint the thing. I think I'm gonna need a bigger brush! (Vindicator for scale).

If you missed my other posts on the Deff Dread, you can find them here:

Part 1

Part 2

Stay tuned for more on that Battlewagon in the future too.

Tuesday, 28 June 2016

Blowcase - An Internet Revolution

Most people like to show really nice models on their blogs, but I'm getting tired of all that. I mean, if you suck at painting it can't be very inspirational to be barraged with pictures of wonderful things. With that in mind - welcome to Blowcase. The segment that celebrates the best of the worst, All from my very own extensive miniature library. That's right, I'm not pointing the finger at other people here, but sharing some of my very own fugly works and proudly declaring "This Blows!".

This week, for your viewing pleasure I have a delightful beast man that was actually a piece from the D&D Diablo II miniatures game. I bet you never new that existed!

Such colours. The tattoos are particularly nice. Bloody axe tops it though.

Improving a Horrible Paint Job

In a lesser article I might have left it there, but then I got to thinking - despite the general horribleness of this paint job it wouldn't be that hard to fix. I decided to take just 15 minutes and challenged myself to see if I could correct what ails him. I started with a thick brown wash for the whole model and then moved on to highlighting the flesh (in the process getting rid of the tattoos). In the end I just went berserk trying to get as much done as possible.

All in all I think it came out quite well when you compare it to the how it looked earlier. The model is still horrible though! I guess paint can't save a bad sculpt!

I suppose the lesson here really is that you should always use a wash to get definition and depth and then highlight up from there. I'd also recommend staying away from tattoos and blood effects till you're ready.

Join me next time for another thrilling Blowcase. I'm not sure what masterpiece I'll be showcasing, but one thing is for certain - it'll blow.

Monday, 27 June 2016

Prodos Games Sirins

This model has been in the works for some time and I finally finished her off this weekend. It wasn't that the scheme was overly complicated; more that I was procrastinating about how to finish off some of the colours - the sword in particular. She is from Prodos Games' Space Crusade and one miniature from a unit known as Sirins. I'll stop there because I know nothing about the game itself, although interestingly the box set is available in two versions; with one being over 18 only!

The models themselves are highly detailed, multi part resin pieces. Prodos are perhaps better known for their AvP game (Alien Vs Preadator), but being a fan of all things Slaanesh I couldn't pass up the opportunity to get my hands on some of these buxom demons when I saw them for sale at Salute in London.

The model is built stock with no conversion work. The base is built from some Tyranid Egg-Sac thingies that you get in some of their kits (luckily my brother had handily left huge unattended piles of them at my house).

Photo wise, she was really resistant to my camera. The white skin tone was reflecting all the light and as I don't really have much of a photo set-up it was a real pain. In the end I managed to get a few decent shots though.

If this miniature interests you they also make some on foot with suspiciously bolter-like weapons, bikes, and some terminator/obliterator things too.

Thursday, 23 June 2016

Bungo The Barbarian - Chapters 1-3

Bungo the Barbarian - Chapter 1, Adventures in Derrowville.


Bungo thrust his armoured crotch plate wildly at a swooning tavern wench.

"Another Mead" he bellowed enthusiastically. His booming voice was punctuated by a dull thump as another buxom maiden fell to the ground; rendered unconscious from the sheer rapture of his manly presence.

Bungo took a heroic gulp of his drink, chugging back the beverage with warrior-like abandon; and spilling equally large quantities down his chiselled and bulging torso, eliciting sighs from the on looking villagers.

Suddenly the tavern door swung open and a cold draft of air blew through the building. The drunken rabble were momentarily silenced as a band of rakish outlaws swaggered boldly into the room. Their leader was a Sauranite Dragon-Man of easily twice the height of a mortal man. He approached slowly and loomed over Bungo menacingly; eyeing him like a hungry ogre looking at an unguarded playpen.

"Thumpp" Another fair maiden fainted with rapture.

The distraction was all the time Bungo needed. He leapt into the air like a mystic tiger and slammed his armoured crotch plate into the Sauranite's excessive cranium. The massive creature cried out pitifully for a moment and staggered back bewildered. Bungo landed with a cat's grace.

"Bamm" he declared heroically; the Sauranite's head caved in on itself to the size of a pea - before exploding outwards in a generous shower of luminous green viscera. There was an ensuing ruckus as the other ruffians rushed to the door in a scramble to escape the barbarian's wrath.

Bungo looked down at the fallen Sauranite.

"Treasure map!" he declared as he gleefully looted the beast's still twitching corpse. He stuffed the piece of paper into his leather briefs and hastily finished his drink, before heading out of the tavern after the fleeing rabble.



Bungo the Barbarian - Chapter 2, Raid on the Temple of Booty


Leaving the coastal town of Derrowville far behind, Bungo ventured boldly into the wilderness. With the greasy treasure map as his only guide the journey had been difficult and more than once he had been forced to defend himself from gangs of enraptured slave-girls, love goblins and succubean visitations.

"They crave my manly flesh ... and who could blame them." Bungo mused as he flexed his bulging muscles absentmindedly.

As Bungo crested the hill, his hard set eyes explored the edifice before him. He checked the treasure map again and everything fit. The Sauranite's picture of the location matched it to a tee. He could see the large entrance and archway in the picture, next to what appeared to be a doodle of the Sauranite himself riding a fire breathing Pegasus and eating fried chicken.

Bungo grinned widely, exposing a row of gleamingly white teeth.

"Excelsior!" He declared loudly; before heading through the darkened stone entranceway and into the temple. The interior was pitch black. Bungo couldn't see anything, but it was a momentary setback.

He tapped his crotch plate with one knuckle; eliciting a sound like a pealing bell. With his super keen hearing he could use the sound to detect objects in the darkness.

"You've heard of sonar" he declared to nobody in particular "now taste my Bone-ar". With that he rapped his codpiece vigorously and set off at a run, leaving only a vague echo and a cloud of dust in his wake.



Bungo the Barbarian - Chapter 3, Into the Unknown Booty


“By the power of Donglore” Bungo roared as he set about himself with his mighty blade. In his enthusiasm, he had run headfirst into a trap and was now beset from all sides by a salivating horde of Derpos.

“Foul Derpo, taste my justice” he bellowed as he slammed the phallic pommel of his oversized weapon into the beast’s mouth. He was rewarded with a loud derping noise as the creature deflated satisfyingly, leaving only an empty sack of Derpo flesh on the floor.

“Derpo, Derpo!!” the creatures yowled; advancing in a gelatinous horde of rubbery blue flesh.

Bungo once again swung the blade wide at waist height, the Gloranite steel shone like crystal as it mowed through several advancing Derpos that dared cross it’s searing arc. They popped on impact and their carcasses whizzed about the room wildly under the force of the expelled methane within.

Bungo reeled back from the stench and in that moment they were upon him. A sea of rubbery bodies contacted with him and began to inflate; the Derpo’s deadliest attack designed to squeeze the life from their victims. The blade of Donglore slipped from Bungo’s hands as he fought desperately to remain conscious under their pillowy forms.

Bungo bit the nearest Derpo like a raging goat; tearing a large piece of blue flesh free. The creature deflated uncontrollably with a sound somewhat reminiscent of a Kallibonian Gassmonnog in heat; allowing Bungo to momentarily escape their grasp. He took a breath and grabbed the next Derpo with both arms before popping it in a savage bear-hug against his manly chest. Another Derpo faced an ignoble death as he lewdly thrust it to death against his steely crotch plate with a gyrating motion that would drive any woman wild with passion.

The remaining Derpos retreated in horror, with several more being caught and vigorously humped to death by the enraged barbarian.

Finally Bungo stood alone before the treasure chest leaden alter.

“Bare your booty to me” he rumbled, before moving to open the chest. The lid squealed momentarily as he wrenched it open; revealing a single piece of Derpo excrement stained paper within.

Well, that rounds it out for this week's episodes. Join me again for another tale from the mighty tome known only as the "Chronicle of Bungo". Also remember to check out my miniature related works and follow this blog for more doses of irregular excellence.

Tuesday, 21 June 2016

Emperor's Children Havocs

Converted using Dark Vengeance Chosen, Forgeworld autocannons and Raptor spares, these Havocs are certainly unique.

I've always liked Forgeworld's heavy weapon sets, but the autocannons appeal especially for some reason - maybe it's the massive belt feeds? I know that most people don't think that they're very competitive, but it's hard to argue with the results you can get with 8 S7 shots. I've blattered more than one monstrous creature to death with these guys and lighter armoured vehicles are easy pickings too. With 8 shots they're not bad against infantry - hitting on 3s and wounding on 2s from massive range. Now if only they had better AP or some rending!

I think the secret is saturation. One autocannon is a bit underwhelming, but 4 starts to look pretty mean. That and at 10 points a gun and a total squad cost of just over 100 points they're cheap and cheerful.

I never field my chaos force without them. They pair up well with my Noise Marines in laying down a hell of a blanket of shots.

Monday, 20 June 2016

The Best of Blazmo

Welcome to the new quarterly segment that celebrates something truly exceptional - Me. It's time to relax and look back at some of my greatest hobby achievements.

That's right, we're counting down the top 10 "Best of Blazmo". I'm getting all misty eyed already...

1) Emperor's Children Heldrake

Remember when the blog first started - oh wait, nobody does because I had no readers. Despite that, my Heldrake has managed to become one of my most popular posts. I guess being in the banner up top doesn't hurt!


 2) The World's Biggest Deff Dread

Taller than an Imperial Knight, but nowhere near as mean. It mostly just attracts a lot of bullets in every game, but I wouldn't change it for the world.


3) Roboute Guilliman

The man himself. Enough said.

4) Pan-O Seraph

My first piece of airbrush work and probably still the best.

5) Imperial Fists

If there's one thing I've learned it's that everyone likes pictures of well painted squads of marines. Guaranteed blog hits every time.

6) Mekka Makari

The iron fist of justice returns to 40k.

7) That "Nice Bust" 

I may not have won the competition, but I still love that beautifully formed bust!

8) Salamanders Captain

Freehand and a NMM sword. Take that internet!

9) The Necrons I Painted in a Single Week!

1 man, 1 mission, 1 airbrush ....and plenty of dodgy OSL

10) The Jokes

Nice models are good and all that, but I like to have a laugh while I'm at it. Does anyone else understand half the jokes ... who cares?

Join me again at an undetermined irregular interval where we'll be taking another look at The Best of Blazmo.

Friday, 17 June 2016

The White Paint Conundrum

Has anyone else had problems with Citadel's white paints? I'm looking specifically at Ceramite White and White Scar. I've had problems with both of them in the past and I'd be interested to know if anyone else has had these issues:

Ceramite White

I'm not sure what they use to make this stuff. It covers well (albeit a bit claggy), but Ceramite White is a brush killer. I once used it to dry-brush with and managed to completely strip a standard size brush of all but about 4 hairs in about 10 minutes. I'm not kidding when I say this stuff is seriously toxic, I think a safe bet for the secret ingredient is probably sulphuric acid. I can honestly say that I haven't touched the stuff since that fateful day.

I hate you Ceramite white. Now I only use it for scenery with a brush that cost 10p

White Scar

Claggy, just so claggy. This stuff will almost undoubtedly fill it's own lid with a layer of dried paint so thick that you're gonna need to take a scalpel to it just to get the lid to close. It always needs a good shake too, so there's no avoiding getting it up there. It is miles better than Ceramite White though as it won't kill your brushes and application is smooth once it's out of the pot, but it isn't exactly a pleasure to use.

There isn't anything really wrong with the colour, but my White Scar seemed to have a limited shelf life and I was getting really sick of digging the lid out all the time after a while.

The Solution

Finally a white that applies cleanly and doesn't suck!

When I bought my airbrush I'd been reading Angel Giraldez's "How to Paint Miniatures from A-Z" book. At the time I bought some Vallejo paints to go with it so I could try and recreate some of the schemes he uses in the book (he works exclusively with Vallejo products). I soon realised that as far as airbrushing was concerned, Vallejo paints were far better suited to the job. I bought a Vallejo White for that purpose and I can honestly say that I've never looked back. It is clean and smooth, but more importantly it doesn't destroy your brushes. Like all Vallejo paints it is the type of paint you squeeze out onto a pallet to use - meaning you don't have to worry about it clogging up the cap (although it doesn't seem to clog up either, but it is worth remembering that the design is slightly different).

I just thought I'd share that bit of info with everyone out there as I've had a real nightmare with some of those paints, but there is a solution!

Painting White

If anyone came to this article looking for hints about how to get a good white colour for their models I'd say there are 2 ways to go about it:

For mostly white models (like White Scars marines)
Undercoat with white primer (and make sure you get good coverage, probably do 2 coats). Then run a directed wash into the gaps with a grey or black to define the shapes. Highlight with pure white.

For White Areas on a Model
Paint with an off-white (thinly - it might take 2 or 3 coats to get good coverage). You can use Ulthuan Grey for this, or for more beige tones Rakarth Flesh or Pallid Wych Flesh. Then highlight carefully with pure white.

You can obviously add in more stages if you want, but I thought I'd take a minute to talk about actually painting the colour. Oh, and if you have an airbrush Vallejo Grey Primer is a great way to start white (and then Highlight with airbrushed white over the top). It's a simplified version of what I did with that bust that time.

Ah yes "that time"...

Thursday, 16 June 2016

Cid - The One Man Army

Feast your eyes on Cid - Lord of all Eternia! ... well maybe not. He's actually just the leader of some Scions for my Traitor Guard force, but I like the model a lot and over a few games he has obtained a sort of character the way models often do through their table-top achievements and failures. He is converted slightly - with a head made of 2 heads (the captain's hat) and a bit of a switcheroo on the weapons and arms. The pistol is actually from the Scion medic, which is why it has that cool saw and drill looking attachment.

Mostly he ended up being a bit of an exercise in freehand technique as I did a series of 8 pointed stars on his coat that I'm quite happy with. I particularly like the circle on his shoulder - I'm always worried that when I do straight lines over cloth it will look unnatural as it won't follow the curves and folds of the clothing. Luckily I think I managed to avoid that pitfall.

I painted on the designs in Moot Green, highlighted them, and then I went back in and glazed the folds with a darker green so that they would blend better into the folds of the cloak and not look so stark and obviously painted on top.

I also recommend using a limited palette (like Cid here) when working on horde armies. I try to restrict myself to green, brass, black and brown when working on the army in an attempt finish enough units to be able to play. Even with that approach it isn't working as I've yet to finish the unit of Veterans I started on 2 years ago....

I liked the scheme so much I used it on some Skaven too!

Wednesday, 15 June 2016

New Keeper of Secrets? Slaanesh Proxies by Raging Heroes

I thought I'd take some time to share a rather awesome model with you all. Feast your eyes on this soon to be released goodness from Raging Heroes. She stands at a whopping 8 inches tall and is part of their latest range of TGG2 miniatures. I'm not sure what the final retail price will be on her, but as a backer of their Kickstarter I'll definitely be picking one up as soon as I can. She looks like she would make a great painting project!

It's pretty big (28mm size comparison)

While I'm at it here are some more pictures of their latest work. You can really tell a lot of passion went in to these designs - I mean the poses alone are just explosively dynamic!

I hope you like Dark Eldar too, because there's some seriously cool stuff in the pipeline. If you like any of these models head over to the official website for more of the same.

Side Note - How I Became an Unintentional Internet Star

I'll be honest, running this blog often feels like shouting out into an unfathomable void where maybe literally several people will hear. Occasionally though I come across something that seems to make it feel worthwhile.

About a week ago I posted a short article about Raging Heroes, the French manufacturer who make various female wargaming minis. As part of the post I put up a picture of one of their models that I had painted a while ago. It was a fairly throwaway post that I did just to help spread the word about their good works. I noticed later that the article seemed to be getting an unusual amount of hits. Anyway, to cut a long story short it turns out that Raging Heroes themselves had read it and put a picture of my work up on their Facebook page. Thanks guys!

Fame and recognition ... for the love of God somebody buy something from Play Asia so I can get paid! I also like free stuff, anybody got any of that for me?

Tuesday, 14 June 2016

Necrons vs. Skitarii - "Start Collecting" 40k Battle Report

It's time for the battle everyone's been waiting for:

Start Collecting Necrons vs. Start Collecting Skitarii

Also known as,  Tabletop Apocalypse vs. BERSERKERBLADE

We finally got the game in that was the inspiration for my Necron force from the start. With only the "Start Collecting" formations at our disposal and a cool £50 worth of models each.

The Armies

Nel'Dhar's Tomb Stalkers (Tabletop Apocalypse, Blazmo)

Composition (Exactly as the Starter Set/on the model)

HQ: Necron Overlord ("Nel'Dhar the Unyielding"), War Scythe, Resurrection Orb
Troops: 12 Necron Warriors
Fast Attack: 3 bases of Canoptek Scarabs
Elites: Triarch Stalker with Heat Ray "Mr Crabby"

Razzimojasz's Code Streamers (BERSERKER BLADE, Ed)

Composition (Exactly as the Starter Set/on the model)

HQ: Tech-Priest Dominus - Eradication Ray, Macro-Stubber, Power Axe
Troops: 9 Skitarii Rangers, Galvanic Rifles, Arc Rifle, Alpha with Taser Goad
Heavy Support: Dune Crawler with Neutron Laser and 2 Heavy Stubbers

The Cunning Plan

The plan was clear from the get go. The formation included with the Necron force allows you to bring back your unit of warriors and scarabs infinitely once they are destroyed, the only limit is that they have to come back in 3 inches of the Necron Overlord. As we weren't playing for kill points, but an objective based battle I planned to just march towards him and wear him down with waves of men. As long as my Necron Overlord stayed out of the way and didn't get killed I'd have an endless horde army. I'm telling you, this is genius!


We rolled off for first turn, which I won, so I deployed first. The mission dictated objectives and a corner-to-corner deployment zone. It wasn't ideal for me as all my weapons are 24" range, meaning that the extra board space would be exploitable by my opponent, but with regenerating units I didn't care too much.

I deployed my forces in a line at the edge of my deployment zone with the Overlord out back for safe keeping. I flanked the Warriors with the Triarch Stalker and Scarabs.

Ed deployed as far towards the back of the field as possible (sneaky git) with his Dune Crawler well out of the way in a building at the back of the field where it could snipe with impunity.

The forces arrayed for battle - the two lines of dice show the deployment zones

Turn 1

The Battle began with an upstart as Ed managed to seize the initiative. Surprised by this turn of events he moved his units forward and excitedly fired his Neutron Laser at my Triarch Stalker. I gasped when he got a direct hit (the thing is S10 AP1, so it wasn't looking too good for me), but it bounced off of the quantum shielding. With that his turn came to an end as his other unit was out of range.

I drew my objective cards and immediately fell about laughing. I had the same objective 3 times! to top it off it was "take objective 3", which was right in the middle of my deployment zone. I trudged the force forward and left Nel'Dhar to hold the objective by himself. I moved the Triarch Stalker at full speed to try and get in range with it's heat ray (basically a 2 shot multi-melta). It was fairly obvious that the battle between our vehicles would be decided fairly quickly and I needed to get in range as soon as possible. The scarabs moved laterally across the board in an attempt to flank Ed's troops. As I was out of range, I ended my turn and claimed my 3 objective points. Things were looking good so far.

I just love it when a plan comes together!

The battlefield at the end of turn 1

Turn 2

The Skitarii turn began with a literal bang as the shooting phase delivered the games first casualties. His squad blasted two bases of Scarabs off the field and left the other base with 2 wounds. Catastrophically for me, my Triarch Stalker took another direct hit from the Neutron Laser that this time penetrated it's armour and got a "weapon destroyed" result. With only one gun it was basically dead in the water (although I could still enjoy it's +1BS aura, but it's impact on the game would be limited).

My scarabs take a beating, but who cares I can always generate more!

My warriors rounded the corner (with the Stalker in toe for +1 BS) and took revenge on the Skitarii forces with a devastating BS 5 salvo that resulted in 8 wounds and subsequently 5 deaths. With that the rangers failed their morale check and almost ran right off the field (but not quite), taking the Dominus with them. My Scarabs moved onto objective maker 2 and claimed me another point. 

New objectives and a rather successful wound roll

I nearly had them!

Turn 3

Fortunately for both of us (as the game wouldn't be very fun!) the Skitarii forces didn't run off the field and managed to turn themselves around. That Neutron Laser took aim and blasted a massive hole in my unit of Necron Warriors, with a death toll of 4. I wasn't too bothered as I could bring them back again if I needed to. Ed was rightly ignoring my crippled Stalker.

The Tech Priest Dominus moves to the front in an attempt to tank the coming shots on his mighty 2+ save and feel no pain. Damn that Ed and his superior tactics! He's been using that phone to contact the Omnissiah again!

On my turn I attempted to charge the Tech Priest and his unit with my one remaining base of Scarabs. Moving as beasts makes then quite fast. They were summarily cut down by a combination of over-watch and higher initiative attacks. No worries though as they'd be back at full strength next turn. My Necrons moved forward and opened fire, but the Tech Priest took all the hits. We managed to get 1 wound through his save though, but it was a bitter victory.

Turn 4
Skitarii and Necrons
Another blistering salvo from Ed and my unit of warriors was reduced to 4 iron clad avengers. The Dune Crawler was moving and trying to get a bead on my Overlord (by travelling sideways across the board). By this point Nel'Dhar himself had moved up in support, but was mostly just hiding from the instant death S10 cannon that was searching high and low for him. I spawned 3 more Scarab bases and threw them towards the stalker, but I didn't manage to get the charge in the end. The Warriors moved round Ed's Skitarii unit and fired from the side - this time managing to take out the Alpha before all of the other shots were tanked on the Dominus to no effect.

Turn 5
Skitarii and Necrons
Ed blasted my swarms off the field unceremoniously again and proceeded to move sideways with the Dune Crawler in an attempt to corner Nel'Dhar (who at this point was cowering behind a flimsy piece of wall). On my turn my warriors opened fire, but fell foul of that 2+ save and feel no pain. I spawned the Scarabs again and threw them at the Tech Priest's unit; engaging them in a round of close combat. They managed to kill 2 more rangers, but it was obvious they wouldn't last long.

Interesting fact - that brown dice next to the Dominus is actually a commemorative Salute 2016 collectable!

Turn 6 and Endgame
Skitarii and Necrons

The Skitarii won the combat with ease and regrouped. Ed's Dune Crawler continued to look for the kill shot on Nel'Dhar, but failed to get line of sight. Assuming that the game would end on my turn I broke from cover and moved Nel'Dhar towards Ed's Dominus, figuring we'd end the game with a nice scenic challenge. Unfortunately I didn't make the charge. I fired off a few more shots and that was it.

It was then that disaster struck, the game went to another turn. The Neutron Laser cycled round and left a smouldering crater where brave (or actually incredibly cowardly) Nel'Dhar once stood. I fired his resurrection orb in a last ditch attempt to save him, but a re-rollable 6+ wasn't much of a bet and he didn't make it. The game was really over when the Dominus fired his Eradication Ray and the Triarch Stalker exploded - leaving me with 4 Necrons on the field!

With that the game ended and we added up our objective points. Unfortunately Ed had first blood and Slay the Warlord as well as one or 2 points from destroying units in various phases. Overall he took the victory by 1 point despite my early lead. I guess it goes to show that you don't need a lot of points in order to enjoy a close and surprisingly tactical game.

I'll be back though - and this time it's personal....

Special shout out to Jack, who leant us his garage and scenery for this epic battle. He even supplied water for the thirsty generals!

In other news I just got my first advertising revenue - 6 American cents. I knew all those hours of work were worthwhile!  It's a life of counting money and drinking beer for me - adios amigos, I've hit the big time. I'll remember you all when I'm on my private jet, sitting on a throne of pure platinum and enjoying being gently fanned by my extensive harem. 

Oh yeah, The big-time never felt so good!
Compare your pathetic lives to mine and wallow in despair. It's nothing but sandy beaches and sunny skies for this erstwhile desperado.

Don't forget to check out BERSERKERBLADE too for more of the saga: