Tuesday, 31 May 2016

A Long Weekend - Part 2, Orange Necrons Abound

Well, the weekend is over and it's time to take stock of my hobby target. I really didn't think things would go this well. I picked up the Start Collecting Necrons box on Saturday morning - I spent the rest of that day building it all (finally finishing the stalker at midnight). The next day I broke out the airbrush and went to work. By the end of the day I had a completed Necron Lord and a single finished warrior. I'd also finished painting 3 bases of Scarabs because they were just so outrageously easy to paint!

Then on Monday I went to work on the bulk of the warriors that I'd base coated with the airbrush the day before. It was a bit of a slog, but I painted 11 of them by the end of the day. So, with that my weekend of hobby madness came to an end. I still have that stalker to go, but feast your eyes on the army so far - pretty badass right!


I hope that dastardly Ed from BERSERKER BLADE is quaking in his pathetically organic fleshy shell. The "Start Collecting" battle is well underway!

If you missed out on part 1 and are still wondering what could've inspired all of this madness, then find it here:


Part 1







Saturday, 28 May 2016

Mortarion Commission Part 2



Work is well underway now. I've gone ahead as planned and changed around one or two colours to get more contrast going on. So far things seem to be going well.

I snapped off a few pictures earlier today that I'll add below. The armour was airbrushed in a graduating shade off creamy off-white that I mixed myself and highlighted with pure white. When I'm airbrushing I almost exclusively use Vallejo products as they just flow a lot better in the machine. For brush work I'm using good old citadel paints.

I always begin a new project by running a test for the colour scheme - even when I'm only painting one model. In this picture you can see I've finished his leg (seen bottom right) to completion, while the rest is mostly still just base coated.

You can see in the picture above that I've taken the scheme and run with it following the successful test. I'm using red as a bright contrast to breathe some life into him compared to the nice, but very mono tonal Forgeworld one.

Still a long way to go on this one though...

Wednesday, 25 May 2016

A Long Weekend - The Cunning Plan Part 1





I have a cunning plan, one so deviously cunning I almost dare not speak it's name. Well, ok it involves painting little plastic men, so let's not get too excited.


You see in sunny old London town, well in the whole of England really the May bank holiday is almost upon us - meaning a long 3 day weekend and the perfect time to start yet another unnecessary and ultimately somewhat idiotic hobby project.


Anyway a week or 2 ago my brother Ed (who runs the notoriously capital letter obsessed blog BERSERKERBLADE) started on a new Mechanicus/Skitarii army. I wanted to start a new force at the same time, so we could run them as rival forces and gradually escalate the engagement. It also seemed perfect as his force had begun with one of the good value "Start Collecting" sets, and I could do the same, but I hadn't been able to settle on any one thing. Then it hit me like a War Scythe the back of the head - Necrons. The most amusing part is that both boxes come with very similar forces - a unit of troops, a silly walker and a leader. Once I realised that the dusty cogs in my brain started to turn and the hobby train was well underway.


The enemy. Enjoy painting all those fine details buddy!






There was one big reason why Necrons appealed - ease of panting. I don't want to give everything away yet, but I have an idea to make them look awesome in an unreasonably short period of time (yes it involves blasting them up with an airbrush). I'm also not going metallic, but bright freakin' orange. So stay tuned and get your sunglasses ready for that one.


I'm actually basing the scheme on this model that I painted for Infinity, but moving the steps around to simplify things. The plan is to be able to paint the whole set with minimum effort. I really do mean a minimum of effort too, but I'm gonna maximise the results. The plan is to be able to paint a whole unit in a day - if it weren't for having to build the things I'd try to aim for the whole box in one weekend!


The beauty of Necrons is that I can get away with a very limited colour palette and can use some of the principles of my own FPM method.


Just to prove orange can be badass. More pictures of this one here.

I also had another cunning plan that was one of the reasons I chose Necrons. As some readers will know I play an incredibly uncompetitive fluff based Chaos Space Marine force most of the time. It's a lot of fun, but it feels like hard work even to stay level with most armies on the field because Chaos just really do struggle to keep up. The Necrons should be fun to play as they're so resilient and about 10 times more powerful, meaning they should be nice and relaxing to play as a side project.

Anyway, with the plan in place we're ready to go. Stay tuned for part 2 where I'll be variously building and painting. With any luck I'll get in some games soon too. Let the fratricidal robot wars begin!



Also this, because I can't hear the word Necron without thinking Monolith.


Salamanders Assault Squad


Some more bodies to throw on the field. This time I've been working on my Salamanders Assault Marines. I actually built these using Death Company parts as I had them spare from the Shield of Baal box set from a while ago. It did take some time to remove the more obvious symbols and stuff, but the models are really nice and detailed. 

Armament wise I went with the flamer (obvious choice for Salamanders) and a power axe for the Sergeant. They're also on the modern bigger marine bases, which look great on jump troops as the models are bulkier and they're nice and stable too (given that the packs can make them a bit top heavy). GW do seem to have become obsessed though with the big bases lately - I know they look nice, but does everything in Age of Sigmar really need one?








Tuesday, 24 May 2016

Purgatory - A Failed Black Library Submission





A piece of fiction I wrote for Black Library's open submissions. I didn't make the grade though, so I thought I might as well post it on here. I'm not sure I really met the brief to be honest, but they say you should write about what you know, so whatever. I'm still glad I bothered though. Sometimes you have to chase your dreams right?









As I don't have an actual picture, I'm just using a Chaos Space Marine I painted.




Purgatory (500 words)








The doors finally slid open with an ominous screeching noise; revealing the darkened chamber within.  Rogar cycled his helm’s vision mode to pierce the darkness and the bridge resolved into a grainy green hue.


The remains of the command crew littered the room; they were not merely dead, but horribly mutilated. Their eyeless, flayed forms hung from steel cables that had been cut from the ceiling. Tied up in a parody of grotesque dominance; the cables were stitched through their bodies in dozens of places and their internal organs had been forcibly torn apart under the strain of suspension. Rogar took a steady step into the room and heard a wet squelch as his armoured foot entered a slowly creeping pool of jellified blood.


A figure rose from the darkness; what Rogar saw was like something from a nightmare, but this was no waking dream. A face, pale and waxy, dominated by a pair of lidless black eyes turned towards him and split open in a killers smile; exposing several rows of shark-like needle edged teeth. Rogar needed no more invitation to open fire and his bolter kicked mercilessly as he strafed the room.


“Contact” Rogar roared into the open vox channel.

The figure had already begun to move and Rogar’s shots blazed wide across the bridge, shattering the grim totems in a shower of viscera and torn cartilage. A round glanced from the heretic’s ornate shoulder guard and for a moment he seemed to stumble; disoriented by the force of the detonation. Rogar saw an opening in that split second and let his spent bolter crash to the ground. Drawing his chainsword with a true warrior’s skill, Rogar brought the blade down from his shoulder mounted scabbard with both hands in a savage, decapitating strike.

The blade bit mercilessly into the heretic’s baroque armour. He pushed down with all the force he could muster; driving his opponent to his knees with the brute strength of his enhanced physique. The sword skidded momentarily, glancing from the armoured ceramite, it was all the time his opponent needed to surge upwards from the floor and deliver a thunderous punch that rang like a pealing bell against Rogar’s Helm. As Rogar reeled from the cacophonous force of the impact he felt a hammer blow to his abdomen as the heretic landed a kick that threw him back against a stuttering command console.


The combatants were momentarily separated and Rogar took up a well-practiced stance with his sword idling.


His opponent was still moving, he slowly circled while drawing a pair of long knives from his hips with a flamboyant arcing motion, each was easily two feet in length and ended in a razor fine point. The blades were thin and Rogar could tell at a glance that they were not merely weapons of show, but a duellist’s favoured weapon.


The silence was broken by the traitor’s cruel laughter.

“For the Emperor” he drawled mockingly, his fanged mouth wet with spittle.









Monday, 23 May 2016

Mortarion Commission Part 1


Well work is now well underway on my latest commission. This time I'm tasked with building and painting Mortarion, primarch of the Death Guard.

I've completed the build and at the moment the greenstuff is drying. The natural break has given me some time to consider the colour scheme. Obviously there isn't much leeway, as he will have to be presented in full Death Guard finery, but at the same time I would like to make a few adjustments. The Forgeworld version is too mono tonal for my tastes and I know I can make the model look better, so I plan to introduce a bit more contrast into the scheme. An obvious change will be to switch the cloak to black so that it is visually distinguished from the armour. I will also introduce some green details in keeping with the traditional scheme, but that seem to be missing on the Forgeworld model. To finish things up I'll use a red as a contrasting colour for the smaller details.

I'm planning to start with airbrush work to achieve a smooth blend across the armour. At the same time I will use the airbrush to begin a non metallic metal style blend on the scythe blade. We'll see how it goes from there.

As a final step I plan to make a few slight adjustments to the scenic base to ensure that he can be moved in and out of it smoothly.

I'll be posting more as I go, so stay tuned for the next update where we'll be taking a look at how the painting is going (hopefully well!)



Saturday, 21 May 2016

FPM Method 2 - Zombie Horde Speed Painting


I previously posted about my FPM method of painting to get the absolute maximum results with little to no time or effort. Behold the fruits of a single night of painting!


These models were slightly more complex as they for the most part have clothes on, but the method was exactly the same. I did swap the drybrush for a quick highlight as it suits the smoother texture of their skin better. It's gonna be a good time when these get on the battlefield!


The models are Kings of War zombies with a few others from Sedition Wars and Deadzone thrown in (all of which are available for very reasonable prices).


If you missed the first part of this article featuring the painting method and the mighty Fruit Punch Mouth himself you can find it Here.


FPM Method



Itchy ... Tasty


Someone call Barry Burton, I'm being overrun ... no, wait, they're going for the fruit punch again...



Friday, 20 May 2016

How I painted this in 45 minutes - FPM Method

Remember that big guy in the Deadzone Plague Faction Set? Well, I have no idea what he is as I bought a set on ebay cheaply to use as enemies in another game.


As models bought specifically to use as enemies, I wanted to get a decent result as fast as humanly possible. I didn't have an airbrush at the time and even if I did it would've been too slow and involve too much effort (it probably takes half an hour to set up - I wanted to be done by then!).


The point of this article is not only to brag on my awesomeness, but to share a few quick techniques that helped me achieve good battle ready results in a very limited time frame. Admittedly this exact method won't be useful for every project, but it is a cool way to paint and may be useful to a less extreme extent for other people (unless you actually play Deadzone, have a horde of Zombies to paint or some Nurgle, in which case prepare to be dazzled). I still can't believe how good he looks for the time I put in!


He will be forever known as Fruit Punch Mouth (Hence the "FPM" Method)


Blood on his mouth? no he just loves his fruit punch.... but damn is he a messy eater.

Getting Good Results Fast (The FPM Method)



  1. Use a limited colour palette. This works especially well if you pick models that naturally favour a low number of different colours. Take FPM himself - his body is basically one big crabby mass, meaning we can blast him up entirely in one colour.
  2. Get creative with textures and washes - for this guy I actually took Baal Red wash (Old GW), put it on an old tough square ended brush and flicked it at him all over to make a speckly blood spattered look.
  3. Don't be afraid of a few cheap effects. On FPM the blood is eye catching and really brings the model alive, without it his hastily dry brushed mass would be more obvious!




STARS! where's Chris Redfield when you need him?



How I Painted Fruit Punch Mouth



  1. Basecoat with Rakarth Flesh (use a BIG brush)
  2. Wash with Rhinox Hide (then either have a break while it dries, batch other models or grab a hairdryer!)
  3. Drybrush the whole model with a 50/50 mix of White Scar and Rakarth Flesh
  4. Drybrush pure White Scar
  5. With a smaller brush wash Biel-Tan Green (shade, so it comes pre mixed) around the bottom of the craggy details and eyes. This is a really nice effect that takes almost no time, but be fairly sparing with it.
  6. With a stiff brush flick red wash (I used Baal Red) at him to make a blood spatter look. you can also just paint a little onto some of the more distressed areas and places where we will add the full blood effect.
  7. For the actual proper blood splotches I ran a thick glaze of Khorne Red on his hands and where he dribbled his fruit punch. Citadel also made an actual blood effect paint that would probably work, or just do a directed wash.
  8. Base however you want - and we're done. I did go back later and add a bit of gloss varnish to the blood.






Coming to a barbeque near you this summer...

Thursday, 19 May 2016

Emperor's Children Kakophoni/Noise Marines


I've been hard at work again. This time I've been painting up some Forgeworld Kakophoni to use in my unit of Noise Marines. The unit is comprised of 5 Kakophoni built straight as they come from Forgeworld (as why mess with perfection) and 5 converted marines built using resin sonic weapons and some other parts from my bitz box.








Every unit needs a few Blastmasters (and if you don't field Chaos, no I didn't just make that word up, or make a confusing reference to Mad Max Beyond the Thunderdome). At S8 AP3 ignores cover, pinning, blast, they're one hell of a heavy weapon. The only downside is that the unit costs an astronomical number of points, but the firepower is immense. It's hilarious to watch a horde of 30 Hormagaunts disintegrate in a single turn of fire. The only downside is that opponents tend to remember what happened and don't make the same mistake twice!


I also did a champion with a power sword and Doom Siren, because what the hell, there's no point in holding back now.


Tactically they combine well with a Sorcerer as there is a nice Slaanesh Psychic Power that adds 1 to the strength of noise weapons against a chosen unit - turning those Sonic Blasters into a veritable wall of Heavy Bolters. A Chaos Lord with the mark of Slaanesh is an equally good option as he makes them a troops choice!



Wednesday, 18 May 2016

Emperor's Children - Palatine Blades




A quick picture I snapped off of my unit of Palatine Blades. I really do love these models, they're some of my favourite Forgeworld infantry. The details are really crisp and cool, but the best thing is how well they capture the essence of their Legion.

You do see a lot of them with twirly swords that bend round corners though, especially on e-bay and at your local games store. I'm sure most readers will know that this kind of warping is common in resin. The good news is that it is easily fixed by submerging the bent parts in recently boiled water (you don't have to literally dunk them into a bubbling pot like a fresh lobster!). The bent parts soften after being submerged for about 20 seconds and you can then bend them till they're straight again. It's an easy fix, but they really need to start telling you abut it themselves as I see a lot of bad press for Forgeworld from people who simply don't know how to handle the material.

I've also heard that you can heat parts with a hairdryer, but this sounds a little indirect to me and I'd be worried about bending parts that don't need it. It probably works fine on larger stuff though.

In other Heresy related news I have another commission that I'm about to start which is for the Death Guard Primarch - Mortarion. I'll post some updates about building and painting him as I go, so stay tuned for that one. If you missed it, I painted Guilliman (Ultramarines Primarch recently - article here). I'm also working on the third part of my Warhammer Pickup Lines articles, so look forward to that bombshell (If you missed Part 2 - find it here, you don't want to miss out on the faux erotic battle report contained therein do you?).


Tuesday, 17 May 2016

40k Memes

For those times when you're bored and you just want a quick laugh.







Sometimes I wonder who saw that model for the first time and thought "yes, I'm gonna spend half my life getting the perfect bend on that!"



In the grim darkness of the far future there is only Rambo.


I also sometimes post things that are worth reading, honest!

Wednesday, 11 May 2016

Celebrity Wargamer - Jamie Oliver

The article that answers the question nobody asked - what would it be like if British celebrity chef Jamie Oliver played 40k?


It's gonna be Pukka indeed....
When I sat down with imaginary Jamie earlier this week he was already hard at work on yet another Land Raider.

"Some people like to paint with a brush, some with an airbrush, I don't like it" With those words he began applying a liberal coat of Kantor Blue with a kitchen sponge, before topping the tank with battle damage achieved with lashings of foie gras.


Jamie recommends brushing your tanks with butter first, for a crispy skin


I was impressed with the performance of his own brand blender in making basing material from spare sprue. He insisted on saying "Wazz it up" constantly, throughout the process. Jamie then bases his models on a chopping board so they look extra "delish".

"The trick to a good space marine is to overcome the bland flavour of the plastic with something more exciting" Jamie declared, before rubbing raw chilli liberally over the model and dusting it with paprika. "a little olio and jobs a good 'en!"




Unfortunately the interview was cut short as Jamie was summarily executed for Heresy...




If anyone actually reads this leave a comment below with who you'd like to see next in this exciting series of articles you've been fortunate enough to stumble upon!

Slaanesh Chaos Lord with Daemon Weapon



Sometimes a picture speaks a thousand words. Prepare to be dazzled by my latest project. So far so good I think.

If you're wondering what that lump is on the side of his chest - it's the front mask of his helm. I need to add a few more pipes and details to show how it has been taken away from his face.



Soul Edge? never heard of it.... *GW continue with blatant copyright infringement*







See it is a helm!

Still plenty of greenstuff work to go on this guy, but it's shaping up nicely.

Copyright infringement? who is this bloke anyway?